the homebirth of alba joy firebrace

alba is now one week old and fast asleep beside me. she makes soft sounds as she dreams, sweetly cooing and grumbling. her fingers curl up by her cheek and she frowns and smiles in her sleep. she is my heart outside my body. tonight i feel ready to tell our story.

for nine months i tried not to think too much about alba’s coming birth. not because i was afraid but because it made me cry from all the excitement, impatience and love that welled up inside. the thought of holding her made warmth travel over my skin. the thought of bringing her into the world made me bliss. the little girl who i’d already fallen for.

on the morning of the 23rd of january i decided i felt ready. my mother and sister were here, the birth pool was set up, candles placed all around, incense ready to be burned, alba’s clothes freshly washed and a box full of everything i would need for labour. i asked m to let alba know she could come today. he held his palms over my heavy belly (marked with mother lines) and softly said ‘you can come today alba’.

i didn’t really think she would come then, i thought i would surely go over my due date and time would continue to drag on. but maybe she heard us. we spent the entire day nesting. the house was piles of unsorted things being sorted. my belly would tighten as i moved about, but it had for weeks so i didn’t think a lot of it. it was chinese new year so we decided we would go out to a chinese restaurant for dinner. by chance it was in a small chinese restaurant on chapel street, melbourne in 2009 (in the crazy months when we were homeless) that we first decided to have a baby together.

the tightenings (which i thought then were braxton hicks) were becoming stronger so i brought a hot water bottle into the car to place against my stomach. this is when i began to wonder. but for fear of getting my hopes up only to find out it wasn’t real, i said nothing.

the restaurant was small and run-down, but i kind of liked that about it. it had a charm to it that reminded me of asia. between bites the contractions came and my face tensed up. it would have been a strange sight, and at the time i hoped the waitress didn’t see this as disgust at my meal. i laughed to myself imagining my waters breaking here. my wonder grew and grew on the drive home. the sun set in thick fog before us, a night coming that would stretch on forever.

i rocked on the birth ball, closing my eyes and breathing as i’d been taught in hypnobirthing. my little sister asked ‘are you in labour?’ and i told her i didn’t know, maybe. m had been fixing an old record player but was still missing a part, so he madly began to compose a playlist for the birth. songs from when we first fell in love. the soundtrack to our life together.

the intensity grew and my mother said ‘try to get some rest’. so i lay with matt upstairs while he timed my contractions. my eyes grew very heavy, so i dozed, being woken by the contractions every little while. i went to the bathroom and found i’d bled (what they call a ‘show’), something i’d been waiting for to tell me this was all real. m and my mother began to fill the birth pool. our hot water system is weak, so they boiled water in kettles and saucepans to keep the birth pool warm.

i texted my midwife at 11pm and told her i thought i was in labour. she told me to sleep as it may still be very early. so we lay upstairs again, but i couldn’t sleep. i kept focusing on my breathing as the feelings grew more and more intense. i wanted to get into the water already but i knew i had to wait. i lay in the fetal position in my underwear, with m tracing my back. in between contractions i told my mama i couldn’t imagine it getting more intense than this, i had no idea.

the whole world began to fall away. i was no longer conscious of the candles flickering around me, the music humming in the background or the smell of the night air mingling with fire mountain incense. i was far inward and all my thoughts were quietened. i was in a place i had never been.

the peaks of pain made me feel very sick. my mother would hold my hair back and i’d vomit between contractions. m rang the midwife. it was 4am and she said she would be here in an hour or so. i wanted her there very much. i needed to hear i was progressing, to know how dilated i was so i had some idea of when the pain would end.

i sank deep down into the warm water. my entire body breathed relief. the contractions slowed for a short while. everything was calmer. i’d lean over the pool’s edge and squeeze my mothers or love’s hands during contractions. i did this so hard they felt it for days. i wouldn’t let m leave me. my little sister fanned me with a book. i was barely aware of anything.

my midwife came in the front door a little after 5am and set up everything she needed. i said i wanted her to see how far along i was. she asked if i was sure, because if it turned out i was not far i might become discouraged. i was sure. she told me i was 6-7cm and this was wonderful news. but still i wished i was more.

i spent a long time kneeling on the cold bathroom tiles, vomiting now and then into the bathtub. m placed towels beneath my knees and held me tightly, telling me how proud he was and how well i was doing. at times i would lose my focus and say i was scared or that i couldn’t do it any longer. sometimes in the silence i would cry out.

the morning sun began to flood in through the glass doors. the contractions started to feel different. slowly the pushing urges came and i welcomed them. pushing felt good. the midwife listened to alba’s strong heartbeat, and to know she was calm helped me carry on. my other midwife came now, but i didn’t notice her arrive.

i told m to come into the pool and he sat behind me, tracing my spine. it was all close now. i could feel alba there between my bones. i could feel her moving down with every push. they took all of my strength, more than i could have ever imagined having. i was a warrior, fierce and powerful in those few hours of pushing.

her head crowned and i felt my skin stretched tight. i was so close to meeting my daughter. i touched her soft head and felt wildly excited. my body ached but i was so close i kept on. pushing her out was the hardest thing i have ever done.

she was born into the water at 10:05am on the 24th of january and me and m caught her. i brought her up to my chest and i was overcome with so much love. i was too overwhelmed to cry, i just said ‘oh, baby’ and ‘i love you’ over and over in a shaky, awestruck way. m cried and kissed her with the same enormous love welling up in his heart. ‘you were worth all of it’ i told her.

remembering the moment i first met alba will always make me teary and warm. she gave a few short, beautiful cries and then settled herself, gently watching us with wide eyes. it was as if she knew us, as if she loved us already.

she was perfect. my eyes and lips, and m’s nose. the beginnings of blonde curls. ten tiny fingers and toes. she weighed 4kgs and 60grams. she was more than perfect.

i don’t know how long it was that we sat in the water just contently staring at her. i was on a high, bonding and love hormones flooding through me. even though i’d known for so many months there was a baby growing in my belly, and felt her moving everyday, i realised then it’d never truly sunken in. this was a real little person.

eventually the umbilical cord stopped pulsing. i birthed the placenta, my mother cut the cord and the water became blood red and cold. the midwives carefully helped me move to the daybed and placed alba skin-to-skin on my chest. she found my nipple and fed, still so wide-eyed and alert. m cuddled us both. we were a family.

we thanked the midwives. the wonderful women who made my pregnancy and birth all i’d ever dreamed. they left, and i remember being so happy this precious little thing was ours to keep.

from the corner of my eye i’d catch m staring at me in awe. like i was some kind of incredible superhuman. i felt proud, it’d been the longest night of my life and i birthed my daughter naturally without drugs. it felt like the greatest thing i’d ever do.

we were all so sleepy and exhausted, so we curled up in bed together and slept. while we were dreaming, bunches of flowers were delivered from our families across the country.

birth candles & salt crystal lamp

timing contractions & dozing between them

my love whispering kind things, early hours before sunrise

resting between pushes

holding mama’s hands tight

moonflower, just born

first breath

our new family

alba’s first nap outside the womb

our first night together

flowers from everywhere and red water

we spend so many hours just staring at alba. tracing her features, kissing her soft cheeks. she sleeps mostly. little dreamer. when she’s awake she’s so gentle, with wise eyes like she has already lived.

seeing the way m is with alba, the way he talks to her and cuddles her, makes me realise i am not alone in my overwhelming love for her. it hurts to love someone so much. every little cry makes your heart ache.

papa loving his girl

pixie holding her new niece

first bath with alba

late nights with baby

alba, we love you more than we could ever put into words. you are the sun of our lives. you are our muse for all we create from here-on in. you are our life. we can’t wait to show you the world and marvel in the way you see it. we will have so many amazing adventures together; your life will be a beautiful dream. we love you, moonflower.

our first trip outside, to pulpit rock

348 love notes

  1. a beautiful telling of the tale with both words and pictures. your story reminded me of my own and had my heart swelling with the memory of that sweet day my little one was born. thank you for sharing with honesty and candor. i am new to your blog (directed to it by sophie from your-girl-is-lovely.blogspot) and am absolutley thrilled to have been introduced. i look froward to catching up on the archives and following your new adventures.

  2. I just went through so many stories on your blog and have fallen in love. Your life is something I dreamed of when I was younger. I had my son at 19 (not planned), and have completely created another (new) life plan. Your pictures are so beautiful and so inspiring, as a mother, to love with all you have.

  3. Your photos are gorgeous and so is your family. I cried looking at the pictures. Newborn babies are just so magnificent. So innocent and so beautiful.

  4. I am planning a home birth for my 3rd son due around September. I have been reading tons of stories but yours felt different as soon as I started reading it, and I knew I was meant to, as Alba was born on my birthday! Such a beautiful journey story and pics. Thank you for sharing. Love and light, Wysteria

  5. I can not stop scrolling through these images. So breathtaking. Definitely refreshing… and beautiful… and just, amazing. You’re quite a lady! Thank you for sharing something so beautiful + intimate with us. It’s very inspiring.

  6. Wow, I just feel like I love your family! You are so young and so sensitive, I wish I could be like you! To go away, find someone, build a family when I’m still young and free… You are awesome! I can’t stop reading your website and seeing your photos!

  7. Wow. I feel inadequate as a mother and a human being now. Your words and photos are amazing and awe inspiring. I am looking forward to reading about your life journey xx

  8. Thank you for sharing your lives with us. I feel in awe of you and your family and I truly wish you peace, beauty, travels, love and unity for all time.

  9. So. Many. Goosebumps. I just discovered your blog today, and I am in total awe. This piece made me cry, smile and feel hope and excitement for my own future.Thank you so much for sharing your life and wonderful writings, love from Norway.

  10. Just amazed! I was researching ideas as I am planning a home birth myself, and you captured the essence of it all so perfectly! <3 your beautiful family and story 😀

  11. This is just such a beautiful story, you write so perfectly and I cant help but cry happy tears every time I read this post (this must be number 10 at least). You’re truely inspirational x

  12. For two days I have had a stomach flu and with my energy depleted and the lingering taste of sick in my mouth I thought, I need to see something beautiful. That’s when ‘Nirrimi’s blog’ came to mind. I realized the last time I visited you hadn’t had little Alba yet so when I saw your most recent pictures of her I searched backwards to find her introduction. M getting in the birthing tub with you made me cry. You are such a beautiful family. Thank you for the treasure of your love that you share with us all. My spirit is uplifted. And congratulations on being (such a wonderful) mummy 🙂

  13. the way you live your life and the purity and the detail of your stories is truly inspiring and beautiful to read. thank you so much for sharing so deeply, and i’m so glad i found this blog. best wishes

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  15. I cried reading this. I’ll never forget your words… truly so inspiring. I’m hoping to have a child of my own soon in my life and I am young as well. It gives me, and I’m sure many others, so much hope, love, and joy to read this and see all your magical photos. It blows me away how free you and your family is. I hope to find that freedom one day. Thank you.

  16. Oh! This is one of the most beautiful and sensitive things I’ve ever read and seen in my life. How deep you are, and how beautifully you can tell your experience! I wish you all the best. Alba, you are so lucky to be born in a family like this and I also wish all the luck in your life! Cheers! Thiago from Brasil.

  17. I just read this and oh my god! So much detail, I love it. It’s so touching and you’re such an inspiration (: xox

  18. God I just found out your blog and read it through and through. I am 24 years old and I’m scared to death of being in labour. Mind you, I think I would actually want to get pregnant but I’m too scared of giving birth to even consider it, even if having a little person made with my love would be the sweetest thing. How did you go about having your baby in your house? Didn’t it scare you that you might have complications or that it would hurt too much? I have so many things I would like to ask you! Please, if you can or if it is not too much trouble.. Could you please write to me? Thx! Lots of love.

  19. I sit here in Ireland awaiting the birth of my baby girl who was due 5 days ago, Birthing pool and all the other stuff in the hallway waiting for her to let us know she is ready to be born, my son who is half Australian came two weeks early and was born at home now 10 years later and a lot of longing and my baby girl is almost here and I feel I cannot wait another moment, your story and photo’s are so beautiful and I pray that this birth will be so beautiful and magical as yours.thank you for sharing it,my heart is filled with love and faith.
    love to you all you beautiful family.

  20. Your wonderful story has really moved me, tears are in abundance. I love your birthing story and your naturalistic attitudes towards life, pregnancy and raising Alba. I have just begun my training to become a midwife in Dublin, Ireland and your views mirror my feelings entirely. I hope to be able to bring this level of honesty, normality and beauty to my practice in years to come. If you ever come to Dublin, let me know, I’d love to meet to you and your family. Best wishes and a life time of happiness Aisling x

  21. Only dreaming of one day having an experience like this, so not being able to relate in the slightest, I wept reading your story. The pain, the power, the love–the things that we never knew we are capable of. Simply stunning. Thank you so much for sharing it.

  22. Her beautiful birth was just hyperlinked on a lovely homebirth site, and even though I’ve seen it before over and over I came back to look again. May I ask who took the lovely photo’s and with what? And where on earth you got your amazing carrier?

  23. I wish I had seen these pictures before now, they are simply beautiful. I have craved a child since a very young age and you cannot imagine the joy these pictures have brought me. Wonderful wishes to you and your beautiful child.

  24. Hi there, i’m 22 and a mom-to-be real soon. Looking at your pictures made me cry, they’re so beautiful! You have an adorable daughter. 🙂

  25. Congratulation with your little moonflower. Naked and true love, fills my heart. Thank you for your way of showing pure beauty.

  26. so touching. inspires me to write-down my birth story (baby louie, born dec 21, 2011). my words won’t come close to yours though… beautiful!

  27. Thank you for sharing your incredibly journey with the world and me.
    The photos are sooooo beautiful, and the way you worded your story of the birth of Alba was just so loving and a pleasure to read.
    Alba is Gorgeous, and if i didnt already long to be pregnant and have a family of my own with my loving partner – your story made me long for it more.
    I wish you and M and Alba A beautiful, long & happy life together, filled with love and laughter.
    Thank you so Much.
    x Rachel
    p.s. Thanks also to miss moss – who’s blog i found your story on.

  28. When i read, i cried… You are gorgeous… Loving you and your family and your works!

  29. What carrier are you using? It is so beautiful I’d love to buy one for my sister. Thanks for sharing your amazing birth story.

  30. Very brave of you to do it at home and all natural!!! very well done, darling! I gave birth to my baby girl recently and oh God these pains… I still remember…
    All the best to you and your wonderful family!!!!


  31. Sweet Alba, welcome to the World!
    I like the way you call the girl MoonFlower. In Kyrgyz language there is a name Aigul (“ai” means moon, and “gul” – flower).
    You are amazing, guys! All three of you!


  32. So beautiful. Alba is so lucky to have such beautiful parents. Just looking at her you can tell she has been here before observing the world around her with those big blue eyes. Congratulations on being such a inspirational family x

  33. such a beautiful , beautiful story, I am really moved by what you have written and wish you all the best xx

  34. I agree Nuruimi and Albo look pretty good. I didn't really think my story would have such an effect on people. If you ever need some tips on getting something of yours moving, drop me a line, I've learned a lot about proper diet since then!

  35. Woah This is such an amazing experience of you! 🙂 I hope that your daughter – Alba will always heath and lovely! Nice and well-behaved! 🙂 You such a great inspire and I know that you and ur husband will raise her well. She is so lucky to ave you guys and so are you guys 🙂 I mean to have a baby, is a whole new world of happiness 🙂
    Be happy Nirrimi,
    Oh hope you guys and your daughter can come back to Vietnam one day 😛
    I might be your tour guide :))

  36. Stumbling across your blog in one of my study periods at school really took me into such a peaceful place. I don't know you but you sure have a gift for photography and writing, and congrats on baby Alba she really is so beautiful and is lucky to have such loving, adventurous parents! Take care xo

  37. By far, one of the most moving things I've ever read. You are so amazing Nirrimi and Alba is just gorgeous. Much love to you, Alba and everyone else.

  38. After I had my wisdom teeth out I was on antibiotics, fairly dehydrated and unable to chew my food well. After the third day without having had a BM I took a crap which turned out to be the most painful poop of my life.

    I know exactly what you mean when you talk about trying to push it out taking all your energy and feeling your skin stretch as it starts to crown. I too felt like a mighty warrior. While I didn't have any help or drugs, I definitely would recommend at least a shot of something to anyone going through a similar experience. Also, I got rid of the water I birthed into pretty fast rather than leaving it sitting around – not super hygienic, you know?

    Anyway, it was nice that we could share these moments with each-other.

  39. After I had my wisdom teeth out I was on antibiotics, fairly dehydrated and unable to chew my food well. After the third day without having had a BM I took a crap which turned out to be the most painful poop of my life.

    I know exactly what you mean when you talk about trying to push it out taking all your energy and feeling your skin stretch as it starts to crown. I too felt like a mighty warrior. While I didn't have any help or drugs, I definitely would recommend at least a shot of something to anyone going through a similar experience. Also, I got rid of the water I birthed into pretty fast rather than leaving it sitting around – not super hygienic, you know?

    Anyway, it was nice that we could share these moments with each-other.

  40. Nirrimi,

    I would like to thank you – your blog is the most inspiring and moving blog I have ever read. After I finished reading all of your posts, the last one being Alba's birth, I broke down into tears because I have never felt so many emotions running through me like that before. I was crying because I was so happy.

    Both M and your photos are the most beautiful, real and raw pictures I have ever seen. I hope that one day the photos I take will be as beautiful as yours. It captures everything I would like to capture in a photo. The way you talk about your family, friends and the world captures me and I want to keep reading about it forever. You are truly inspiring and i look forward to your future posts.

    I wish you and your amazingly talented little family all the light, life and love in the universe. You have enlightened me and changed my world.

    Thank you

    Melanie Robyn Gaunt


  41. i have no words for this, it simply is amazing. i cried when i read this and i can only imagine that alba will have a great life because her parents love her and care about her so much. belated congratulations.

  42. This is so amazing and inspiring 🙂
    You have such a beautiful family and it's nice to see that even though you're a young mother, your husband seems so happy and supportive to share this with you, which unfortunately nowadays seems almost uncommon.
    I don't consider having children with someone, I don't believe I'll ever trust someone that much. Still, this was touching 🙂

  43. I somehow happened upon your blog this morning, and I am blown away. The way you write is so beautiful, and the photos that both you and your special other take are divine. Your birth story was beautifully emotional. I am currently 19weeks pregnant with my second little being, so maybe it is simply that my emotions are so high at the moment.
    Congratulations on your little girl, I have become a follower of your blog and really look forward to reading your words and veiwing your beautiful images from here on.
    Luv Rhi x

  44. I love love love this post!! Got me thinking about my twin boys, when they use to have lil hands and feet aww.. now dere 3 and running around everywhere lol.. Alba is so beautiful, enjoy every moment with her this small cause its gonna go by quickly! Congrats!


  45. beautiful pictures… I can feel all the love you have for your new little girl.
    I wish you many blessings from here on!

  46. Beautifully told. And the most original and heartfelt pregnancy and birth photos I've come across. Congratulations on the birth of your little baby girl.

  47. congratulations. thanks to share your the words and images i understand all the love of your new family. Alba is italian name and it s similar to Bianca!adorable!

  48. absolutely beautiful. thank you for sharing! your girl is wonderful! congrats to your new love and life! I wish many great things for you all

  49. Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful little girl!
    This post is so lovely it brought me to tears – she is a lucky girl to have parents who love her so much


  50. Oh my god this is so precious. These pictures perfectly capture the beautiful intimacy between a mother and a child. Congratulations beautiful lady!

  51. Oh how beautiful. i've been sitting here with tears streaming down my face.
    We had our Reuben, who will be 2 in May, at home too, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks so much for sharing! love from Cape Town.

  52. My beloved sister is waiting to give birth tonight, it was a privilege to read your story. Thank you for sharing. And Alba is perfection, it's not just you who think it! x

  53. wow, this is beautiful. both, photos and the writing, i nearly cried during reading.
    i wish you all the best for your little family.
    i will keep my eyes open for your incredible photography and blogging!

  54. this is the most beautiful post I have seen.
    i wish you, m and alba all the best. you are truly an inspiration.

  55. This made me think with sweet sadness of my own mother, whom I was fortunate to care for during the last 4 years of her life. Thank you, dear Nirrimi.

  56. This is the single most beautiful blog post i have ever laid eyes on. I cant even imagine how magical and surreal this time is for you. All I can say is, Alba is a beautiful, beautiful child. I am 18 years old and have always felt like a maternal female. you have inspired me, and perhaps others, to stay true to yourself and to not put stock into to what older generations assume will unfold should you follow a certain path. If I was in a better place financially, I would consider motherhood myself, but thats just not a wise decision for me right now. Congratulations Nirrimi, you have created a beautiful life.

  57. This is the most beautiful post I've ever read in my whole life!

    Congratulations on your beautiful baby!


  58. Beautiful !! So happy for you. Wish baby Alba and your family the best. Wish you all the joy in the world.

  59. This is beautiful. Your writing brought tears to my eyes. I wish you and m all luck and happiness, you are a lovely family.

  60. Like what i seen here, it was very interesting to see and visit all the great stuff on here, and would very much recommend this site to someone else also. Great Job…

  61. This post is indeed written with love. Congratulations for finally having Alba,your little angel. And the photos are really wonderful. I wish to have a happy family like yours in the future. You are so lucky!:)

  62. And now the wanderlust begins anew, can't wait to read about the new adventures through Alba's curious loving eyes. It is so beautiful to read about such a big circle of love between you, m and Alba and your extended family, we need to celebrate more these beautiful moments which make life so rich and beautiful and remember that pain can sometimes bring soooo much beauty into this world and love. Bless you all!

  63. And now the wanderlust begins anew, can't wait to read about the new adventures through Alba's curious loving eyes. It is so beautiful to read about such a big circle of love between you, m and Alba and your extended family, we need to celebrate more these beautiful moments which make life so rich and beautiful and remember that pain can sometimes bring soooo much beauty into this world and love. Bless you all!

  64. congratulation you make me cry! you posted wonderful pics and you tell us your story .. i wish you the best.. i'd like to write more but i'm italian and i'm no t so good to make me understand.. xoxo

  65. Congratulations! Alba is just so cute, lovely, sweet, beautiful, gorgeous. Just…I don't even know what to say. You and matt are amazing. I wish nothing but the best for the gorgeous little alba! x

  66. Congratulations!! She's beautiful! Just reading this and seeing your photos brought tears to my eyes. I wish the best for your new family!

  67. Nirrimi y Matt, muchísimas felicidades por el nacimiento de Alba. Es un bebé precioso.
    Siento mucho no escribir en inglés. Por desgracia, no me atrevo. Entiendo al leerlo, pero no lo sé escribir muy bien. Prefiero escribir en mi idioma para expresarme mejor.
    El nombre de Alba también existe en mi país,España. Como veis, vuestro arte llega a todos los lugares del mundo. Nirrimi, tus fotografías son espectaculares.Transmiten mucho de ti. En ellas veo mucho amor y paz .Logras plasmar una atmósfera especial que jamás había visto antes.

    De nuevo felicidades por vuestra nueva familia.

  68. Your pictures bought tears to my eyes at 5am while my very rambunctious three year old is already a wild tornado ransacking our house lol but looking at your pictures and hearing your beautiful words about your daughter made me sit back and just let her be… as i stared at her i flashed back to the day she was born and all the beautiful moments (even the colic ones) up until this point and knowing that this will be our final child (we have our boy and girl both very had births i cant do it again) – I will always remember She will only live this very moment once and I will only watch her live it once so you reminded me to start taking those pictures again, loving the beautiful moments in life we all take for granted sometimes and remembering to live young because you only live this moment once. =)

  69. What a truly beautiful experience. Alba is blessed to have such wonderful parents. Congratulations, she is just precious. xx

  70. You won't probably read this comment but i can always try. I'm only 15 and i'm from France, and i had never understood teenage girls who give birth to a baby, before reading your blog. When i found your articles about your pregnancy, i thought it was so obvious, because you've got such a marvelous life that a baby was the only thing that missed you. And a few days ago, reading this article, i almost cried. What you wrote was so full of beauty, purity, and a huge and endless love that i couldn't help thinking about it for days and days. It completely changed my way of thinking. Now, having a baby seems to me the most wonderful thing on earth and i can't wait to give birth. I know that i have to wait some years to welcome my baby in the best way possible, but now i know that how old you are doesn't matter, the only thing that is important is how ready you feel. Thank you nirrimi, you make my life more beautiful everyday and your work makes me wanna go higher. You're such a wonderful person.

  71. congratulations! i think that are the most beautiful pictures ever.
    i wish u all the best (:

  72. Congratulations and welcome to your little gorgeous Alba! Your story actually moved me to tears. Wishing lots of happiness! x

  73. Wow, I'm absolutely speechless, what an amazing story. And there are no words to describe the beauty in those pictures! Your daughter is incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful mother and father, so much love.


  74. Hey, i barely don't know how to say this: but you inspires me to live.
    I'm a not so young girl who has too much afraid to live to barely try, but read your post is like a breath of life. You inspires me to wanna try, to get out and do what i love, to do beautiful things. Thanks for let us know your magic life, for share with us your strong and passion. Is amazing the way that you express so much beauty.
    Hope you live a great story with the little Alba!

  75. congrats to you and your family…i recently had a home birth in october…it was amazing. nice to see others who know how i feel. today is my first born's 4th birthday and while i didn't have her at home, having a baby is a special experience. enjoy it because it goes by so very quickly 🙂

  76. You have heard this from many, but here are mine: Congratulations! You are the luckiest girl on the planet to have such a beautiful family <3

    Every day is/will be a blessing.

  77. the pictures of you pregnant are amazing ! you are so courageous !!! congrats 🙂 long life to all your family !

  78. It just made me cry! How beautifull feelings, pictures and writing. I'm "jealous" of Alba in some way, since I didn't had a common, happy childhood. I hope some day I experience so much love in my life. To love and be loved in that way. To have a child wishing it so hard, and so my man, and take care of him/her doing my best.
    Congratulations and my best wishes from Spain, I'm sure you're gonna be very happy!

  79. Wauw, such a beautiful story with the most amazing pictures.. It almost made me cry. I'll wish you all best! xx

  80. First I looked up all the photos and smiled, I was (and still am) so happy for you! Now I read the post and I'm crying my eyes out, at work! So beautiful story.. I don't know what to say! I hope all the best in the world to your family <3

  81. "Alba" means dawn in my mother language, which was when you Alba was born. I'm currently living in Beijing and can tell the most magic night of my entire life was past 23rd january, Chinese New Years' Eve, the fireworks and celebrations here were pure magic. It amazes me thinking that thousands of kms away from here that was also your MAGIC night. Congratulations. Hope Alba has a great life. x

  82. congrats to you. this is an amazing journey for you and your man.
    wish you good luck and enjoy every single day.
    kisses to you
    maren anita

  83. one of the most beautiful things i've ever read in my life. i'm only 14 and i've never much thought about starting a family, having kids etc., this opened my eyes up to a whole new world. thank you for writing this, and i truly from the bottom of my heart wish you and your family a beautiful life. welcome to the world alba, i hope you see the beauty and joy of life at all times.

  84. WOW.

    this was one of the most beautiful things I have ever read in my life, and I'm just eighteen and haven't thought that much about actually giving birth to a baby. I just clicked on a link to your blog and I was stuck, struck, startled, bewitched, I'm in love with this text of bringing life to the world. Oh my.

    I hope you will have a wonderful life, all of your family.

  85. What a beautiful (birth) story. Thank you for sharing with us the tales and the beautiful pictures. Alba is so big and gorgeous! May she grow up strong and healthy. As for the rest, you and M will be there to guide her thru her life. Congratulations on the beautiful baby girl!

  86. This is so beautiful, Alba is a really lucky and beautiful little girl and I can imagine you and M's happiness right now.. The way you write, and the photos, I love how you can express so many feelings through them. This post made me so happy, even though I only know you through the blog. I've been following your work since you posted things on DeviantArt and I'm so glad to know that you're having so many nice things in your life and that you are sharing them with us 🙂
    I hope you'll understand my English, I'm from Argentina and speak Spanish, so it's a bit hard to express some things in English..

    Best wishes for you three, I'll be waiting for more stories and photos of Alba!

  87. Nirrimi, I am so incredibly happy for you and your family. All the best from the very bottom of my heart to you, m and little alba! This is so wonderful. You are a special girl indeed, I am so in awe, I cannot even find the words. Much love,


  88. Hi N.
    First of all, I'm french, so I hope you'll understand what I write, sorry if I make mistakes
    Congratulations for your amazing baby girl, she is just so perfect, she'll bring you happiness every second of your life now on.
    You'll hug a joyfull life everyday. Your text is so beautifull and your pictures… I can find a word to define what I fell when I'm watching your post. I wish you the best for every breath that your little Alba will take. 5I don't I can say that in english, it's like translate from french to english…)
    I'm a huge fan of your blog and of your pictures. Thank you for making me dream.
    Lots of love from Paris.


  89. Congratulations! What a beautiful story and I love the pictures. Take care and I hope everything is good.

  90. Unbelievably touching story, so beautiful. I felt to much reading and seeing your pictures. Thank you for sharing your gift.

  91. this is beyond beautiful and inspiring.
    you 3 are so close to my heart and i reallly wish you the best.
    i hope one day i find such a strong love like yours.


  92. what a beautiful blessing she is. i can feel all your love for her with your words. you and m are already amazing parents and i can not wait to see little alba grow. she is pure love. god bless you and your beautiful family nirrimi. this makes me eager to one day find what you have with m.

  93. Congratulations!!! She is sooooo beautiful!!! You have a very nice family… I loved all of your pictures, they're so beautiful and realistic…

  94. I fell in love … Congratulation to you three! 🙂 Give a lot of love to a small sweet Alba (as I'm sure you already do!). And I'm gonna say that the way you described everything that happened and how you felt about her made me cry. Unbelievable..

  95. Congratulations to you both! I've been egarly awaiting first photos of alba an have not been disappointed! She is beautiful! Xx

  96. wow, what a great blog with so lovely pictures.!! i can't say anything as INSPIRING.!! new reader (:

    greeting, elisa.<3

  97. just discovered your blog, how amazing this experience was! congratulations on the arrival of baby alba. Beautiful images too!

  98. Congratulations, absolutely beautiful. I cried and I beamed, reading this. All the best for you, lovely family.

  99. I have been following your blog for a long long time and never commented, but after reading this post i just have to. I love your photos, your blog and poetry of life, and am excited every time you post and share with us. I am so happy for you and your family and wish you all the happiness in the world. enjoy every second of it and keep sharing your beautiful photos which uplift and inspire me.
    Hannah xx

  100. This post gave me chills and tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing. What a beautiful experience, what a beautiful family.


  101. This is such an amazing post, the writing, picture, everything about it is perfect. Congratulations, she looks so calmly beautiful.

  102. The story of Alba is filled with so much sweetness it is like a soft dream. I am so happy for you three, a new trio, exploring and inviting the beauties of the world with every new day. Thanks for sharing these moments with all of us who have been waiting, wide-eyed to see the next part of your journey unfold.. So much love. 🙂

  103. I tried to express what I feel, but I'm speechless. You, Matt and Alba are just so blessed. You are a family of such srong, beautiful and inspiring people. And I send you lot of love. <3

  104. Nirrimi, anyone can feel love in your pics and in your writing. You can see it in your baby's eyes, m's and yours too. It's almost tangible and It's so inspiring.

    lots of love and prosperity for you and your new family,
    from Brazil,
    Gabi Barbará

  105. This is so beautiful, Nirrimi. I've been waiting for this now for what seems like forever. It always makes my heart so happy to hear what you've written and see your photograph's. This is all so beautiful and inspiring. You will be the best mother and m the best father, I'm sure. So much love here. Thankyou for this and I hope all of your dreams come true with Alba. She's gorgeous.

  106. amazing. beautiful. magic.
    in a few years she will read all this and see this amazing pics… she's lucky she has You as parents.

  107. A perfect love story. I do hope you, Alba and m live together with love and prosperity. Take care and good luck.

  108. I want baby so much and after reading this i want it even more.
    Your words brought tears to my eyes…
    I wish you a happy, peaceful and healthy life. ♥

  109. Everything about this is full of so much feeling
    Sounds like it was frightening during the night, but she is beautiful and so lucky

  110. I just cried like a baby reading this post.
    What a lucky child to have such a loving, supportive, and beautiful team of parents.

  111. Your writing is as filled with magic, love and beauty as your photographs. Thank-you for sharing this wonderful experience, and congratulations.

  112. That is one lucky (and beautiful) little girl – if only all children could come into the world with so much love and joy. I'm so happy for you all.

  113. Dear Alba, WELCOME IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD! I hope your life will be filled with priceless moments (life's real treasures) and I also hope that you'll love going on a treasure hunt every day! You have 2 of the most amazing parents, you are so lucky! God bless you all! Alina

  114. So much beauty in this post I felt liked exploding with happiness, it moved me to tears. All the best for you, Matt and little Alba!

    Marija x

  115. i've been reading each post since the first sign of her existence.
    she is a lucky girl, and so are you and m. you can reach happiness with both hands.


  116. Congratulations! I have been waiting for this post! Your daughter is beautiful, and she is lucky to have a talented mother like you to tell her story <3

  117. oh, wow. this gave me goosebumps all over and tears in my eyes – perhaps the most beautiful birthing story I've ever read. congratulations on your beautiful new family 🙂

  118. congratulations! you three are a beautiful family.
    alba is a beautiful baby, and your photos are amazing as well.
    i wish you all the happiness!
    I'd like you to know I really admire your work.

  119. Nirrimi, your stories and the photos are too surreal, I loved every single part of it. Teared up in some parts over jealousy for Alba and the both of you. The world could not have created a more perfect family. I congratulate you again and I hope you keep us fans updated with your family album!

  120. nirrimi, when i first found out you were expecting a baby, it felt so strange to me. for you were all that had inspired me in life so far, i had never had someone to thank like i had you, for inspiring me to discover my love of pictures, for teaching me in little ways to mature, and see this world differently. it felt very strange to see someone i had looked up to and felt quite similar to (for we are so close in age), taking the step into motherhood, something i had thought of, but never believed i would experience. i watched you grow throughout your journey, i spoke of you to my mother as if we were friends (a little odd i know) and slowly i realised that one day i want to be a mother, that birth and motherhood are sacred and beautiful. you changed me and my view on young mothers, something that had been tainted for me previously by societies standards.
    so now i have more things to thank you for, my love of pictures, my yearning to one day have a child after seeing a different, more beautiful side of birth, and for the way i see this world.

    you deserve all the beauty in this world nirrimi, and it has been delivered to you in a small, warm, package. she is so beautiful, and i wish you the happiest of days.

  121. Such an incredibly beautiful and touching post 🙂 I loved your birth story, it was so raw, I felt like I was there almost. You were so incredibly brave! It is so apparent how much Matt and yourself have for each other and for Alba, such a beautiful little girl and a beautiful name 🙂 Congrats on becoming a mumma 🙂 xo Melissa

  122. Congratulations to you both.I'm close to tears, and I don't cry over things I read very often. She is so beautiful, and is clearly well loved, it shows through your writing. Thank you for sharing this journey with us. All the best for little Alba, may she live well, happily and healthily and able to dream, though I'm sure with you as parents she will.

  123. This is one of the cutest things i've ever read. Congratulations. She's such a beautiful little girl, a little angel, and she will be surrounded by lots of love. Kisses to your beautiful family!

  124. Wow! Congratulations, Nirrimi! Your daughter is absolutely lucky to have such loving parents! She is beautiful. This will be a hard road, but I'm sure all the love you have will make it a little easier. Always sending love, from Canada.

  125. so much beauty in one post. i hope that i'm lucky enough to have an experience like this someday. congratulations to you and your beautiful family…

  126. This is an AMAZING birthing! I adore that you BOTH took part in expressing your LOVE for this lil' ANGEL! Congrats on starting your family! MUCH PEACE & COMFORT TO YOU ALL!!!…

  127. Congratulations Nirrimi and Matt! I've been following your adventures since this blog first started and this post was by far the most moving and most beautiful. What you have done and how you have portrayed the birth of this amazing little life really brought me to tears. I'm not even a mother nor do I have plans to be one soon but the love felt from you and your other half (or third i should say now) is incomparable. Thank you once again for your beautiful art. Don't ever stop. I can't wait to see what you have in store with this amazing addition to your beautiful life.


  128. oh my god, she's so cute. finally, i'm so happy for you and i believe that you and m will be the best parents alba could ever have. i have to say i almost cried while i read this. so beautiful.

  129. Nirimi,

    Congratulations to you an Matt on such a beautiful little girl. Thank you, for your wonderful post; it seems to me to give an honest account of being an expectant/new mother, especially to of us who aren't mothers yet, but as always you've conveyed it so beautifully.

    You wrote a blog post a long time ago, I don't know if you'll remember it ( which struck a cord with me so deeply when I read it that I have never forgotten it. You openly declared all the things I daren't say, for fear of judgement.

    " 'where is your heart?' i wanted to reply, 'my children, who i already love whole-heartedly (even though they are only just dreams for now)'". The moment I read that, I understood.

    I am so happy that this has finally come true for you. All the love in the world to you, M & baby Alba. xo

  130. I'm moved by you and your new family, i discovered your blog a year ago, and when i read that alba was comming i was so happy for you and m !! And happy you was in italy, and happy that Alba name is Alba, like the beautifull italian small town named Alba, where the hills comming into grapegarden and where there are such lifefull feelings as you all! Congratulations i estimate you so much…

  131. Reading these feels like a dream is so sweet and magic, Alba is so blessed having such wonderful parents, her life will be full of beautiful moments. 😀

  132. congratulations! what a beautiful recollection & magical photos. Sounds like it is going amazingly for you ~ gorgeous mama!!


  133. This is so beautiful. Congratulations you two lovely people. The joy in your hearts is so wonderful and we wish you all the happiness and great adventures in the world.

  134. makes me cry. our little moonflower is so beautiful as her family. welcome to earth little percious alba joy. thanks to you n+m for sharing with us your lovely life.


  135. Love hurts but the pain it brings is real happiness and your love story has inspired me. Alba is a precious gift that you both had brought to life….My warmest blessings to your family!

  136. Everything about you astounds me. Your work, your life, your family… This is such a beautiful, inspiring story. Best wishes for you, M, and Alba's new life together!

  137. this post made me cry. I don't think I've ever read anything so beautiful, or seen anything so pure. my warmest congratulations to you and your family, you are all beautiful and seem so happy.

  138. Oh my gosh, so beautifully written and lovely pictures. You are all so cute and beautiful, a perfect family. It felt really magical to read this. 🙂
    And Alba, what a beautiful name you've chosen for her!

  139. Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. Alba is so beautiful. Your words nearly brought me to tears just knowing that you and Matt and Alba are a family now. I wish you all happiness and many blessings.

    Welcome to the world Alba! <3

  140. I practically cried looking at this! I think it's beautiful how much love you surround your daughter with and I have no doubt that she will be beautiful and creative like her parents. Alba looks so healthy and happy, you should be so proud.

  141. congratulations, this made me cry!
    child birth is such a beautiuful story, and i always loved every single pregnant photo, so feminine and amazing.
    Alba is absolutely stunning, and I think its unbelievably amazing that you had a home birth- so many people don't these days!
    I am so so happy for you!
    Good luck on motherhood and your new life ahead of you 🙂 xx

  142. this is so amazing and unbelievable. I could read your words forever. your baby is perfect..congratulations! you are so inspiring.

  143. congratulations, shes absolutely beautiful, just like her mother!
    lovely of you to share this journey with us.
    Lots of love to you and your family, and of course little baby alba xx

  144. congratulations!!! wish you all the happiness in the world.
    Alba is so beautiful 🙂
    I've been checking your blog so often waiting for this post, i expected it to be emotional but it blew me away. YOU are such an inspiration!!
    Thank you!!! I can't wait to have my own little wonder now

  145. this is so incredibly beautiful! it's made me feel so much better about in the future when i have kids… alba's going to be so happy when she's old enough to read this xo

  146. She is so beautiful, congratulations. You word everything with such meaning behind the words portraying your feelings so clearly, something that I don't see with other writers.

  147. These pictures are so wonderful. Alba can be really lucky to have such cute and handsome parents. I am really envious!!

  148. i know i'm repeating everyone, but really, reading the story and seeing the pictures makes me really happy. very beautiful. 🙂

  149. What a beautiful family you have, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your story with us and for all the wonderful pictures. Alba does look perfect beyond belief. Congratulations again! xxx

  150. most beautifully captured moment i have ever come across.
    thank you for sharing such a personal, precious moment of your life.
    it made all of our hearts glow.
    congratulations & warm wishes for your family.

  151. This is the most beautiful thing I've ever read. Congratulations. You both were a beautiful couple, and you are now a more beautiful family all together…(:

  152. I didn't think that i would be drowning in tears while reading this. (hormones) Such a lovely story. It makes me overwhelmed with joy to see you three living the lives that you imagined. Alba is a perfect reflection of you and Matt. <3

    I look forward to seeing your little muse's adventures.
    Makes me anxious and even more excited for this last trimester in my pregnancy.

    Karina Love

  153. Finally! This is something I've been meaning to read! Congratulations on your moonflower N. It's amazing how you told everything from start to finish. I can't imagine the pain you went through. I'm a little scared myself when the time of the pregnancy comes but for now, I've got a good grip on being just a woman to my man.

    I hope the motherhood treats you well. Btw, I just got married last Jan. 25! 🙂

  154. After reading the text, looking at the pictures and feeling the feelings, I can say that I am on the edge of crying. This is the most beautiful thing I have seen in my entire life.

  155. i tried to find words that would describe how i feel about this but i can't. let me just say that i am so, so very happy for you two and that the love in your words put tears in my eyes! i've admired you for your photography and ability to make your dreams come true all along, but the way you love outranks everything! you are a perfect little family and i wish you all the best! thank you very much for sharing this beautiful and honest experience with us! <3

  156. wow.. i'm really speechless. I'm german and i've read the whole text! This is so wunderful i have no words for this. The text, the pictures.. everything i can't describe. I almost had to cry. Congratulations! I wish you all the best!

  157. This is one of the most incredible things I have ever seen or read. Literally took my breath away. I wish all of you the very best. So beautiful <3

  158. these made me cry, and I don't cry often too. So so so amazingly beautiful, and more than that too.

    I'm so happy for you, congratulations nirrimi and matt. You make a wonderful family.

    lots of love 🙂

  159. your words brought tears to my eyes, I can see now how beautiful motherhood is. i can feel your loves towards Alba through your words. it really is beautiful.

    congratulations nirrimi and matt, I know you'd be great parents to your sunshine.

  160. Congratulations. Your family is beautiful. This post made me reflect on the birth of my own baby just a few months ago. I love reliving that moment.

  161. You and your family are so incredible.
    I hope to one day experience what you are experiencing now.

    x x x Stace

  162. Thank you for sharing this and being so honest. Alba is simply perfection. You are very lucky and deserve so much happiness. Wishing love and joy always for you and your beautiful family. xx

  163. congratulations! this is the most beautiful story of a birth i've ever heard. she is the most beautiful baby girl. i would say she will be loved, but i know you loved her when you first knew you were carrying her. this is amazing. :))
    -jocee <3

  164. Many congratulations from Germany! This is such a wonderful post and I think you'll get a wonderful mother!

  165. I smiled when reading this post.

    It is my first time to read an article about a mother giving birth. This article is filled up with love. I am so glad I have read this.

  166. Tears of joy and a big smile on my face after reading this – oh my goodness, she is just so gorgeous! Congratulations to you and m and a warm welcome to the world to little Alba. 🙂

  167. Oh my God, this has been the most perfectly-written, most lovely, most emotional post I've ever read– it makes me so happy! The pictures with it are perfection. Congratulations, ALL of the congratulations. So incredibly amazing.

    This post is perfect.

  168. congratulations, nirrimi! she's beautiful. with you two, her life WILL be a dream. i'm so happy for you three! thank you again for letting us into your beautiful world. life's such a myracle.

  169. Nirrimi, you have the most compelling and beautiful soul, it shines through in your words and your photos and your face and your beautiful beautiful baby girl. Congratulations! She is a miracle.

  170. From reading your adventures together I feel as if I know you. Reading about Alba's story and your experiences with her is bringing tears to my eyes and shivers down my arms. You three are so utterly beautiful and I can just feel the immense love radiating from all of you, and I am in a completely different part of the world. It is so beautiful and amazing, and you inspire me so much I can't even put it into words. I just wanted you to know that.

  171. amazing. your words made me teary, remembered the day a gave birth to my baby girl. wish u and your family all the best.
    pictures are beautiful, you'll have great memories <3

  172. It's hard to express myself after your amazing post! She is such a model! Gorgeouse little angel! Wish you all health and happiness! Enjoy the first steps in parenting!

  173. I think this must be the most beautiful thing I've read in many years. I can't stop crying, you are such a beautiful and blessed family. Alba is the luckiest girl to be born to such good and loving parents and relatives, and you guys deserve such a sweet and amazing little girl as she must be.

    Good luck and congrats to you all. ♥

  174. Yet im 16 but after reading your perfectly written text about you giving birth i can´t wait till i get my very own Alba. You have inspired me to give birth without drugs, i really hate all kinds of drugs normally but haven´t really given any thought about how i will proceed with my child. dont worry i wont end up on 16 and pregnant on mtv, no, i just wanted you to know that this was most beautiful i have seen in a long time, the text and the pictures. Congratulations!

  175. Your photos and words are all love, tenderness and beauty. They all feel so natural. I wish you all the best. Welcome to the world little Alba 🙂

  176. these pictures and the story literally made me cry. you're all such loving people, glad you're raising a child now. it's gonna make the world much more of a beautiful place.

  177. everything is so perfect for you! It makes me smile to see how amazingly you've created such magical photographs from what sounds very painful xxx

  178. this is just amazing, it's such a beautiful story, accompanied by stunning photographs.
    congratulations on your precious child.

  179. beautiful. your story and photographs capture the emotion perfectly, I am tearing up! I am so happy for you nirrimi. an absolutely beautiful birth of a very special ray of sunshine. congratulations <3 xo

  180. Your words make me cry from happiness, Nirrimi. Congratulations to you and Matt, and welcome to the world, beautiful Alba. We've all been expecting you.


  181. Oh my gosh, congratulations. I loved reading every word, seeing every photograph. Simply incredible. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, n and m. And welcome to the world, little alba.

  182. Wow.

    Thank you for letting us into your world. This is written with as much depth and love only a mother could give, and strikes great depths, just like your photography.
    Congratulations. You're an inspiration.

  183. this is so beautiful and magical, thankyou for sharing. made me cry happytears. best of luck with everything, x

  184. Congratulations nirrimi. Your words and pictures capture the spectrum of emotions and the love you felt so strongly.

  185. This is soooo a perfect pics…
    (by the way i usually don't like pics with pregnant women but these are so great!)

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